LGBT COUPLES COUNSELING
/LGBT and heterosexual couples share many things in common, but their social context in which they live differs greatly. A LGBT couples counselor will be sensitive to the pitfalls of heterosexual bias, and provide treatment in consideration of those differences.
At Here & Now Counseling Services, our LGBT couples counselor knows from first-hand experience the difficulties of navigating a relationship while dealing with the effects of ‘minority stress’ and the all-to-common obstacles uniquely faced by LGBT individuals:
Coming Out & Openness: Coming out as LGBTQ+ to yourself (self-acceptance) and initiating “the talk” with family or friends; resolving internalized homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia; Revealing your same-sex attraction or gender identity to a heterosexual or cis-gender romantic partner; dating a closeted or semi-out partner when you yourself are fully open about your sexuality or gender expression
Dating, Open Relationships, & Jealousy: Navigating the exhilarating—and often nerve-wracking—world of LGBTQ+ relationships; Ironing out the rules and limitations of an open or polyamorous relationship; Conquering jealousy, when your partner is besties with their exes
Contradictory Viewpoints & Diversity: Mastering the additional challenges of an interracial or “intergaycial” relationship (…Are they staring at us because we’re gay/trans? Or because we’re inter-ethnic?); Understanding and accepting your partner’s world-views (conservative or liberal political leanings; spiritual differences; or conflicting cultural ideals).
Sexual Health & Satisfaction: Resolving medical and psychological causes related to painful penetration, performance anxiety, or sexual arousal disorders; Connecting with qualified and compassionate LGBTQ-competent healthcare providers to receive routine screenings for HIV, HPV, and reproductive cancers; Embarking upon a sexual relationship with a partner who is diagnosed with HIV or coping with your HIV+ status as a couple; Exploring the process of medical transition or readapting to sex after the transition process is complete.
Family Acceptance: Disclosing your sexual orientation or gender identity to your family and bracing yourself for the reactions (from unconditional approval… to denial, sorrow, anger, or rejection); Integrating your partner into family affairs (including those awkward Easter dinners with grandma/grandpa or the intolerant aunt/uncle…).
Prejudice & Discrimination: Overcoming anti-LGBTQ+ obstacles and biases—including, discriminatory adoption policies, hiring practices, or rental procedures & healthcare, legal or socioeconomic barriers—as a united front; Recovering from homophobic or transphobic slurs, relentless bullying, harassment, or anti-LGBTQ+ violence.
Gay & Lesbian Marriage: Tying the knot and confronting familial disapproval or resolving spiritual ambiguities; ; Finding a way to cope with waking up every morning and wondering… Are my marriage rights still “legal” today?
Family & Parenting: Negotiating the specifics of childbirth or adoption; Ironing out parenting roles and discipline strategies to dodge the bullet of future confrontations; Equipping your children for interpersonal success and formulating a plan to counteract anti-LGBTQ+ bullying at school.
(source: www.wefixbrains.com)
Members of LGBT couples will experience and deal with societal prejudice in different ways, but the effect of ‘minority stress,’ or the effects of living with often negative social conditions, will continue to exist to some extent. The fact that many LGBT relationships endure, and are as stable as cohabiting heterosexual unions, in spite of residing in a sometimes-hostile climate, is a testimony to the resiliency of LGBT couples.
In fact, during a 12 year research study completed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Robert Levenson, it was discovered that LGBT couples respond more positively towards one another during conflict, use more affection and humor during a disagreement, and overall each partner is more positive in how they receive conflict while using fewer controlling and hostile behaviors towards one another.
LGBT couples, despite being the ‘superior conflict managers’ (from lifetimes of practice), can still benefit greatly from couples counseling. The following is a list of just a few ways in which a competent LGBT couples counselor can provide help with LGBT specific issues:
Encouraging you and/or your partner to accept your sexual orientation or gender identity while facilitating the ease of the coming out process; Resolving internalized homophobia or spiritual distress.
Empowering you to articulate your expectations for the relationship (on matters of “out-ness”, commitment, sexual satisfaction, fidelity, marriage, parenting, etc.).
Fortifying your relationship to navigate hostile or discriminatory climates (familial rejection, anti-LGBT sentiment, hate-motivated harassment or targeted violence, and unjust political, legal, healthcare, occupational, and academic outcomes, etc.)
Examining the cultural, spiritual, and socioeconomic factors that generate subtle sources of friction in your relationship
Assisting you to decompress from stresses of wedding planning, adoption, or child-rearing; Enabling you to discuss the nuances of family planning, parenting roles, or disciplinary styles
(source: www.wefixbrains.com)
At Here & Now Counseling Services, our counselors are trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, a world-renowned and research-based approach to couples counseling with over 40 years of experience and research in understanding the art and science of healthy romantic relationships and the behaviors that inhibit the foundation for a successful relationship (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling).
In September of 2017, the results of the first outcome research study on couples counseling with gay and lesbian couples was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. The results proved that Gottman Method Couples Therapy is incredibly effective as an evidence-based therapy for LGBT couples. LGBT couples who received Gottman Method Couples Therapy improved over twice as much and results happened with nearly half the number of sessions that is typical for heterosexual couples.
At Here & Now Counseling Services, our counselors strictly provide online couples counseling in an effort to provide services to individuals that live in isolated areas or those with demanding work and/or life schedules which make seeking help more restrictive. Our services are also beneficial to couples in long-distance relationships (both partners must reside in the state(s) for which your counselor is licensed).
Our online LGBT couples counselor will provide you and your partner with the safety and support needed to address the everyday struggles of being in a relationship while understanding from personal experience the unique challenges faced by LGBT individuals and the ways in which it impacts your unique relationship.
Get started Here & Now with your online LGBT couples counselor, and remember, you are not alone—our relationships are as valid as anyone else’s—and our love is worth fighting for, both in our communities and in our homes.
